His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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