4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
