The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
