I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
