He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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