Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
