We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
