Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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