So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
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