I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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