new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
two words: eviction party
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
