I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
