he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize