Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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