Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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