I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
