I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
