It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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