I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
