i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
