margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
