i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
