just tell him i said nine months
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
