i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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