omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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