kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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