That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
His hands were made for my vagina.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
