real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
