i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
