At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
