TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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