How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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