fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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