Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
only you would photoshop your dick
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
