I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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