More tranny stories later!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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