that's an acceptable place to lick
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
