Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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