Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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