He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
