i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
