she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
