Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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