yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
