Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
