He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
