oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
