"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
