just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
