Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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