his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
