is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
