PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
