Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
