Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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