trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize