he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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