So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
