It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you win again, gameday.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
