i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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